Family Spree
Our family reunion just ended.
Actually my dad is still at the hotel desk arguing about the bill. Our hotel, The Rusty Nail, came with free shampoo, soap and tetanus shots. My dad wants some of his money back, though, because the hotel advertised a "Huge Fireworks Show!"
When we first checked in, I said, "When's the fireworks show?"
The lady at the counter said, "As soon as you light this sparkler."
"But that's not a sparkler," I said. "It's just a match."
"Yes, but in your eyes, it will sparkle," she sweet-talked.
It was hard to disagree with her, but I was still disappointed. I was also not happy with the "exercise room," which turned out to be one 25-pound weight, used to prop open the screen door to the lobby.
My mom reminded me that we weren't there for the hotel amenities anyway. I didn't even know hotels had amenities. I thought those were only found in the ocean.
But my mom was right (as usual) — we were there to hang out with our extended family.
Dad says our family tree is full of sap with a few nuts. In other words, we have some interesting family members. I'm surprised that a talent scout doesn't show up to recruit people for the circus.
Speaking of quality entertainment, the talent show is the best part of the family reunion. Cousin Trudy always starts by giving a short two-hour speech about the importance of family. This year, she ended her speech with the usual, "My heart is just so full right now, but so is my bladder, so I'm done. Let the talent show begin!"
Cousin Ryan began by trying to recite the books of the New Testament. "Matthew, Mark, Luke, uh Leia, C3PO, Chewbacca, Galatians, Ephesians, Donner, Cupid, Blitzen, first and second Philadelphia Eagles, Hebrews, Shebrews, first, second and third Gear…" At least he got a few right.
My dad was next. He ate nine hot dogs in two minutes. I was proud of him — mostly because he didn't even realize it was his turn to do anything. I guess some people are talented without even knowing it.
When it was my turn, I led everyone in a sing-along with my triangle. Then my grandfather did a cool trick where he made everyone fall asleep by playing his accordion. My uncle painted a face on his stomach and made the face whistle by moving his belly button. (So his talent was making people not want to eat ever again).
There were lots of other talents, but this year's winner belched the entire alphabet while changing a carburetor on a motorcycle. My Aunt Debbie is just dripping with talent!
As I looked around at this strange gathering of people, I realized that "family love" is very strong. Any of these people would come and help me at a moment's notice — and not just because most of them don't have jobs. They would help because family love is a strong bond.
That's why it's important to be in God's family. Like a true Father, God watches over and loves His children. I hope you and your family are having a great summer. My dad's in the car now. He's pretty happy. The hotel gave him a free book of sparklers!