Average Answers (Part 24)

Ask Average Boy a question.

Question  Dear Average Boy,

What do you do on New Year’s Eve? I want to do something fun with my family, but I can’t think of anything. Got any suggestions?

Rebekah

Answer  Hey Rebekah,

New Year’s Eve can be lots of fun. But you need to be prepared. I always start with a nap to make sure I’ll be awake at midnight. Unfortunately, sometimes that nap lasts until breakfast.

Last year, my family played backwards board games. It’s like regular board games, except you try to help somebody else win. We also wore silly hats all night. Every hour, we had to switch hats. I started with a Burger King crown but ended up with Grandma's Easter bonnet. (At least it wasn't pink.)

I hope you have an amazing year, Rebekah!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  I am getting glasses soon and I’m a little nervous. What do you think?

Ema

Answer  Hey Ema,

Hmmm, I can’t see you right now but I think you probably are nervous if you say you are. However, I wouldn’t be nervous about glasses. I don’t think anyone’s ever been injured putting glasses on their face. People wear them every day! So get some fun frames and enjoy your cool new look!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

P.S. One more tip from my friend, Glasses McQueen. No matter how sunny it gets, do NOT use a black marker to turn your new glasses into shades. Especially if it's a permanent marker.

Question  I am almost a 6-month Christian, but I am still confused about what I should do to be a good one. I mean, I know I have to read the Bible and pray and stuff, but I want to know the way to serve Him as best I can. What should I do?

Your Friend in Christ

Answer  Hey Friend in Christ,

It sounds like you know exactly what to do! God wants us to spend time with Him daily praying and reading His word. Then He wants us to be ready to walk down whatever path He puts us on. Sounds like you are ready for your own adventures!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  I love knowing about my family tree. Would you tell me about yours?

Grace

Answer  Hey Grace,

Absolutely! My family has a big oak tree in our backyard. It used to have more branches, but I’ve broken a few of them off over the years. Maybe you’ve read about some of those adventures. We also have a weeping willow, but I don’t like to hang around anything that’s sad. So I leave that one alone. Hmmm . . . maybe that’s why it's so weepy. Anyway, strange but great question!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Do you like strawberries? I don’t.

Michael Angelo

Answer  Hey Michael Angelo,

I’m a big fan of your famous ceiling painting! How did you pull that off? I once tried to paint something on our ceiling in our living room but my parents were not amused. My dad quickly stopped it by turning on the ceiling fan on “High” and knocking my brush across the room.

Anyway, I can’t remember what your question was. I’d go back and read it, but Mom just brought me some yummy strawberries. So I have to go now.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  What is your reel name?

Braden

Answer  Hey Braden,

My reel is named Daiwa. I got it from my grandfather on our last fishing trip. Thanks for asking!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Do you like turtles? I have one, and her name is Stripes. My brother Dan has a hamster, and so do I. My hamster's name is Cinnamon. Dan calls his hamster Peter—or Ivan the Terrible.

Your friend (even though I have never met you),
Jeremy

Answer  Hey Jeremy,

I have about 30 turtles! I keep them all in the creek behind my house. I don’t think they realize they are my pets, though . . . especially the last one I tried to pick up. Billy said it was a snapping turtle, but it felt more like a biting turtle.

Anyway, turtles are cool! I like any animal that I can outrun.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Have you ever wanted to spell your name differently than "Bob"?

Knate

Answer  Hey teKna,

Once I spelled it “Obb,” but everyone kept calling me “Odd.” Actually, they started calling me that before I spelled my name differently. Thanks for the question!

Your friend and mine,
Avery Agebo . . . I mean, Gabe Yearov . . . no, wait! BEAR VOYAGE!!! (wow, that's fun)

Question  Have you ever been left somewhere accidentally? I used to get left at church sometimes because we have a big family.

Ruth

Answer  Hey Ruth,

It sounds like you don’t make enough noise. I try to make enough noise that anyone can find me no matter where I am. On an unrelated note, could you pick up some books for me? I’ve been temporarily banned from the library for some reason.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Why does my breath stink when I wake up in the morning?

George

Answer  Hey George,

I used to think my brother snuck in at night and filled my mouth with gross slime. Then he’d put some in his own mouth, too, just to throw me off the trail.

Honestly, I don’t know what causes bad breath . . . but I know I have the same problem. Try keeping some mouthwash right next to your bed so you can rinse as soon as you wake up. That’s what my mom does for me each night.

Your (smelly) friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Do you like chickens? I really like chickens. Alive or cooked, they are both awesome. In fact, I wrote a song about it. I yelled it at a talent show. I won the invisible award. I would sing it for you, but I lost my voice after singing it three weeks ago. Anyway, chickens are awesome, and I was wondering if you liked them too.

Feathered Friend

Answer  Hey Feathered Friend,

I know what you mean. I win the invisible award every time I try to talk to a girl. And yes, I love chickens. Who doesn't? They give us scrambled eggs and buffalo wings. (Hey, that sounds like a great new recipe!)

I guess the guys at school know I love chicken, too, because they’re always calling me “Chicken”... usually when it’s my turn to jump off the high dive at the pool.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Hi Average Boy,

Are you excited for summer? I am! Camp, Bible school, Pioneer school, climbing trees and most importantly... (drum roll, please) recuperating from school! So what's your favorite thing about summer?

Jennifer

Answer  Hey Jennifer,

Pioneer school sounds great! Do you learn how to do things from long ago, like churn butter, grow corn and call people from a landline phone?

Anyway, my favorite thing about summer is church camp! I hope I can discover where they’re having it this year. My youth leader, Tim, has this fun game where he hides the sign-up sheet from me.

Remember, even if your state is currently buried in snow, summer will return... someday.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

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Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.