Funny Answers Pt. 1

QuestionDear Average Boy,

What is your opinion of ancient Greece? I've been reading “The Trojan War” in school, and some of the stuff the characters are doing is real stupid. But I heard the Greeks were supposed to be the thinkers of their culture. What do you think?

Annie

AnswerHey, Annie!

My opinion of ancient Greece is that you can't go by the expiration date. I say smell it, and if it doesn't smell too bad, then it's still safe to cook with.

About the Trojan War - I think that whole Trojan horse thing was dumb. First of all, who leaves a gift for people who just beat them in a war? “Thanks for beating us! Here's a big wooden horse!” Wouldn't the Greeks have been a little suspicious?

They didn't exactly use their great minds when they fell for that horse thing. Especially since they could have just given it the tap test by tapping on the side to see if it was hollow. That's what I would have done. I would have first tapped, then got on for a ride . . . right out of town.

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Your friend and mine, Average Boy


QuestionAverage Boy,

What do you do with sisters who barge in on you and don’t stop when you ask?

Annoyed, Boyne Falls, Michigan

AnswerHey, Annoyed!

First, I would have a major discussion with your parents about your name.

Second, if my sister barged in on me, I would be shocked beyond belief — mostly because I don’t have a sister. But if you do have a sister and she won’t respect your privacy, you should just start hanging out in her room. Tell her because she keeps barging in on you, you want to make it easier for her to find you.

You may also try hanging around her all day, singing the “Happy Birthday” song. Pretty soon she won’t like you . . . or cake. Let me know if it works!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy


QuestionDear Average Boy,

Thank you for all the laughs. I have a question: Have you ever worked with dogs other than the time you used yours for wrestling practice? I’m in 4-H, so I love dogs.

Dogfancier, Salem, Oregon

AnswerDear Dogfancier,

Wow! People have some pretty strange names. I feel kind of boring with a name like “Bob.” Does 4-H teach you to love dogs? I thought the four H’s were hen, hog, heifer and horse.

I do work with my dog every day. For instance, right now I’m trying to teach him not to use my computer to write e-mail. Now that I know 4-H makes your dog fancier, maybe I’ll sign mine up.

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.