Funny Answers Pt. 2

Question Dear Average Boy,

I think you are really funny. Can you make a story about your New Year’s vacation in New York? I think that would be really cool. Do you like cooking? Can you please write me back?

AnswerDear Person who doesn’t share his name,

I can make a story about my New Years vacation in New York. All I have to do is...uh...go to New York for New Year’s Eve and write about it. So keep your subscription up to date until January 2005, and I’ll do the rest. Oh, and if you have any spare airline tickets lying around, please mail them to me.

Now, for your second question: I love to cook but the fireman told me that I’m not allowed to do it again unless my mom is with me. As for your third question: Yes...I can write you back.

Your Friend and Mine,

Person who also doesn’t share his name (even though we all know it’s Average Boy)


Question Dear Average Boy,

I really like your stories. They are really funny. I especially liked the one about your vacation. Here’s my question: What do you like to do when you’re bored? I have a real problem with boredom.

Your Fan,

Kristin P.

P.S. If you ask me, I don’t think you’re such an average Joe.


AnswerDear Kristin,

When I’m bored, I like to answer people’s e-mails. Watch. Hi. Kristin! Thanks for saying I’m not such an average Joe. I think that’s because I’m an average Bob. Also, if you are bored, you could read the Bible or play outside or learn to cook or write a story or watch TV or paint or exercise or make a list of things to do when you are bored. Any of those usually work. Thanks for the e-mail. I hope my reply wasn’t boring.

Your Friend and Mine,

Average Boy


Question Dear Average Boy,

My name is Emma H. I was wondering how you did at sports. I’m not the perfect athlete but I was wondering how good you played—in particular softball, because that’s what I play. Every time I play, I pray to God to be with me as I participate. I hope that helps you in any sport you might do.

Your Fan,

Emma H.


AnswerDear Emma H.,

Softball. Hmm . . . I’m not sure how good I am at softball. My church plays softball on Saturdays so hold on, and I’ll go see if I’m good at it.

Yeah. It turns out that I’m not as good at softball as I am at kickball. But it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to stay on the team. In fact, my church has asked me to play a special position for the team. It’s called the “Stay at Home Mascot.” Basically, I’m supposed to stay home during the games and pray for them. Anyway, thanks for the e-mail and for getting me on another team where I can use my talents!

Your Friend and Mine,

Average B.

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.