Funny Answers Pt. 4

Question Dear Average Boy,

What's your real name? I love your stories!!!

Your forever fan,

Me

AnswerHey, Me!

I should ask you the same thing. What's your real name? Is it really “Me”? And if so, do you get confused at malls when children yell, “Hold me!” at their moms? Do you run away scared that a mom might try to hold you?

As you guessed, “Bob Smiley” is not my real name. I changed it to protect my privacy. But since we’re friends — you know (because I've always liked me!), I will tell you that my real name is “Robert Smiley.” Shhh! Don’t tell anyone. Especially You because You can be a real rumor weed!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy


Question Dear Average Boy,

What do you do when you have a ton of homework, and you have other important things to do to?

Michelle

AnswerHey Michelle,

I do the homework. Otherwise I don’t get to do the other important things.

My parents have me do my homework right when I get home, so I’ll have the rest of the evening to get into trou . . . I mean, to play. I sometimes do my homework while riding home on the bus. However, because of the bumpy roads, I don’t make good grades in my handwriting class. I hope that helps. When in doubt always choose c!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy



Question Dear Average Boy,

I think you are really cool. Do you like candy? My favorite candy is Baby Bottle Pops. They are soooooooooooooo yummy! What is your favorite candy?

Your friend,

Crazy About Candy

AnswerHey, Crazy About Candy!

I wonder if your name was “Crazy About Carrots” if you would love vegetables. Maybe you like candy because your name makes you like it. Come to think of it, I float up and down in the water and I’m named Bob! Remind me to never name one of my kids “Shouts-a-lot Smiley.” Anyway, I do like candy. My favorite candy bar is Kit Kat, unless I’m with four or more friends.

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.