Squirrel Ops

by Miranda, 12, from New Jersey

Editor's note: Do NOT try this at home!

Activity was abnormally high on January 25. The peaceful evening weather deceived the casual observer to the havoc wreaking inside this New Jersey home. One brave journalist and an extraordinary camera-mom captured the action.

8:15 p.m.--Ellie (knee-high to a duck) and Mo (slightly taller) hear a scary sound coming from what they thought was the top bunk in their bedroom. Dad and Mason gear up to go where no sane man has gone before: the attic. (They had been there before.) The search begins for a blood-sucking, hole-digging, house-invading, nut-cracking SQUIRREL. Mom bravely follows the hunt.

Squirrel Ops

8:20 p.m.--Mason fires several warning shots from his paintball gun, hoping to draw out the beast.
"Mason," Dad calls out, "what is the most important rule?"
Mason replies steadily: "Do not, under any circumstances, shoot my father."
The heroes search for a hole in which the monster could make its den. The nagging possibility that the intruder could be a bat is realized.
"It could have flown away," Dad suggests as he retreats to get supplies.

8:32 p.m.--Seventeen minutes into the hunt, Mason makes a discovery. "Whoa, Dad, look at this. I think I found something."
Mason fires 18 more shots, with no results.
Camera-Mom gives up her post. "It's cold up here!" she says. Mo, one of the beast's victims, bravely takes Mom's place. (Ellie is too young.)
While stalking through the attic, Mason catches a glimpse of his room from above. "Hello, Roomy," he calls.

8:36 p.m.--In the darkness and obvious terror, our two heroes continue the hunt. Dad finally finds a hole. He asks Mason for assistance.

8:40 p.m.--The camera is down (no battery left). Mason retrieves a vital can of expanding foam to fill up the intruder's hole.
"I'm comin', Daddy," he assures us as he crawls back across the rafters.
Silence envelopes the attic. Mo gives up and returns from No Man's Land, relaying the latest news to Mom and Ellie.
One last shot is fired.
"I think I missed," Mason says. "I accidentally closed my eyes."

8:50 p.m.--Mason hops down. "Mission complete!" he states loudly.
"Did you find it?" Mom asks.
"No."
Dad drops down from the attic as well. "Tanks off!" he orders. Mason complies.
With paintball guns disabled and masks off, our heroes return to civilization. Although the mysterious perpetrator eluded capture, it cannot return so easily.
"That was fun!" Dad says.
"Yeah, that was cool!" Mason says.
Just another day in this New Jersey home.

8:57 p.m.--The fearless reporter, Miranda, signs off.

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Copyright © Focus on the Family. Used by permission. Photo © Miranda's family.