by Katherine G. Bond

I wasn’t born perfect, but I’m working on it. Nana calls me the Princess of Prose because of my writing. But sometimes I wish I were the Princess of Perfect.

My first fault is being strange. My long, colored scarves are strange. Liking classical music is strange. And writing and printing a newspaper from my bedroom is the strangest. I decided to investigate and see if there was anyone stranger than me on Lovall Island.

The Lovall Looking-Glass
November 6, 2000
Bizarre Sculptures Made Here
By Alice
LOVALL ISLAND—Raymie Dziok adores junk. She turns bent spoons, bedsprings and bells into art. Her 6-foot elephant made of bailing wire, car parts and a dryer hose has gained the attention of a mainland gallery.
Have I mentioned that Raymie is only 12? The Chancery Square Gallery in La Montagne didn’t know this fact when they chose to display her elephant. But they know now! This reporter finds that very cool.

"Great scarf," Raymie said after the interview. "Come over again sometime."

She really is strange, I thought. Then I met Julia.

The Lovall Looking-Glass
November 17, 2000
An "Annie" Like You’ve Never Seen
By Alice
SAN PEDRO ISLAND—Lovall’s Julia Finn, 11, skips, screams and solos her way through "Annie," at the San Pedro Playhouse this week. This reporter wishes she could belt it out like Julia.
"I love being up front!" Julia says. "You should try it."
Looks like Julia has a bright "Tomorrow"!

Julia climbed onto a table as soon as I was done. "Hey, everyone!" she shouted. "This is Alice the Wonderful! Y’all buy her newspaper,’kay?"

The cast members clapped while I blushed from embarrassment. But it was nice.

Join the Club

I enjoyed meeting Alice and Raymie so much that I called them to see if they’d ever want to get together as a group.

We decided to meet in Raymie’s studio. I was late as usual. Fault No. 2 (out of two billion, six jillion, umpteen-thousand).

"We’re artists." Julia sprawled on a floor pillow. "All of us. Not just Raymie. My art is acting, Alice’s is writing and Raymie does dryer hoses."

Raymie laughed.

I fiddled with my scarf. "I thought I was just weird."

"When you’re a kid and do stuff like this, you’re weird," Julia said. "When you grow up and have a fan club, then you’re an artist."

Raymie sat up. "We’ll be each other’s fan club!"

"That sounds so . . .," I searched for words, "self-centered."

"The Bible says to encourage each other," Raymie shot back. "Sounds like a fan club to me."

We decided to call ourselves JURAYAL because it sounded cooler than ALJURAY or RAYALJU. That’s when the walls started to rumble.

Raymie ran for her elephant and grabbed its legs. Julia dived under a table like you’re supposed to. I stayed rooted to the bed like an idiot while books crashed to the floor. It’s a good thing it wasn’t the "big one."

When the shaking stopped, we all gathered on the rug. "You okay?" Julia asked me.

"Is the elephant okay?" she asked Raymie.

Raymie grinned sheepishly and hugged us both.

I hugged them back, wondering how friends could feel so much like sisters.

The Lovall Looking-Glass
February 23, 2001
Alice Astounded at Award
By Alice
LOVALL ISLAND—This reporter was stunned to get a letter from the Evergreen State College "Rising Star" competition.
I can’t believe it! I’m "Junior Journalist of the Year!"
Thank you, subscribers and advertisers! I couldn’t have done this without you. The award ceremony will be held tomorrow on the 10 a.m. ferry with mainland reporters and TV crews!

"The sun’ll come out tomorrow!" Julia danced around with Raymie’s hubcap, bike-spoke sculpture. Raymie smiled but looked nervous.

We were packing for Raymie’s show. Everything fit in her mom’s trunk except the dryer-hose elephant.

"Hey!" I said, "I can take it with me and get pictures of it on the ferry. Then Nana and I can deliver it to your show."

Of course, I was trying to be helpful. But I also liked the idea of the media meeting Alice, always-on-the-job-reporter, taking perfect photos for the Looking-Glass.

"I guess that would be all right," Raymie said. "As long as it gets there."

"No problem."

Deep-Sea Disaster

Raymie and Julia were both on the ferry, along with Dad and Nana.

"What’s the news today, Alice?" A TV guy stuck a mike in my face before I could even adjust my scarf. A woman with a camera walked behind him.

"Um. Well, I’m going to photograph this sculpture for the Looking-Glass."

"Great!" said the camerawoman.

I lugged the elephant out to the deck. Julia and Raymie gave me two thumbs-up. The wind whipped my hair. I stood up the elephant, draping its trunk across the rail. The camerawoman filmed as I set up the shot. Sun glinted off the bailing wire. The Olympic Mountains stretched out behind us. This was it. I was the Princess of Perfect!

I swept around, beaming my most dazzling smile, and . . . was almost strangled.

My scarf was caught!

"Um, excuse me." I gave it a tug. The elephant shot up like a spring, and the dryer hose smacked me in the face. The elephant hit the rail, tottered for a second and toppled.

"No!" I shrieked. But it was too late. The sculpture spun down, bounced once on the car deck and plunged into Puget Sound. The camera filmed it sinking tail first, its trunk waving goodbye as it disappeared.

Princess of Pathetic

I don’t know what I said in my acceptance speech.

"I’m sorry," I told Raymie afterward. "I’m so, so, sorry."

"You didn’t mean to do it," she said, looking away.

"I’ll buy you more dryer hose," I said. "My dad and I will get all that stuff."

Raymie looked at me. "Yeah," she said, "okay."

We were silent all the way home.

The Lovall Looking-Glass
March 2, 2001
Valuable Art Lost Forever
By Alice
LOVALL ISLAND—This reporter is sorrier than she’s ever been about the elephant that drowned in Puget Sound because of her stupidity.
Bud Clark of La Montagne Undersea Rescue Squad had a disappointing response when contacted. "For people, we take that kind of a risk," he said, "not for dryer hoses."

I called Julia but she said she was too busy to get together. She wasn’t mean, but she didn’t sound like Julia. Raymie didn’t show up to help deliver the paper, and I didn’t want to know why.

I needed to drop out of JURAYAL. They’d be fine as just JURAY. They had each other.

The Lovall Looking-Glass
March 16, 2001
Awful Weather Continues
By Alice
LOVALL ISLAND—Gray skies will reign for the next two weeks. This reporter is sick of rain and sitting inside by herself.

I spent spring break at Nana’s in La Montagne. I didn’t even try to write an issue of the Looking-Glass.

On the last day, Nana took me to the Chancery Square Gallery. Raymie’s stovepipe llama and her hubcap solar system looked great. But instead of the elephant there was just an empty space and a picture of the elephant and Raymie.

After that I didn’t want to see any more.

Nana took me to lunch, but I couldn’t eat. I kept thinking about how Julia and Raymie were the best friends I’d ever had, and now they hated me.

In the car Nana began to sing. "Love is patient, love is kind," she glanced over at me, "does not envy, doesn’t boast, is not proud. Love is not rude, nor self-seeking, not provoked, keeps no score of wrongs."

I went through the checklist as she sang. Was I patient and kind? I was certainly self-seeking. I hadn’t thought about Raymie when I borrowed her elephant. I’d only thought about looking good, about being the Princess of Perfect.

But I ended up IM-perfect, and I couldn’t make it right. I had already apologized, but it didn’t change anything.

Nana pulled into the ferry terminal. She touched my cheek. "Alice, we can’t always undo things we’ve done wrong."

I stared at my lap. Nana always knew what I was thinking.

"I know you’re hurting. But can you trust God to love you, even if you’re not perfect?"

Nana didn’t say anything else. She kissed me goodbye. I turned once on the passenger-bridge and saw her with her head bowed.

I went to the front of the boat and let the wind blow my face. "Can you trust Him?" Nana had asked. And then I knew. God’s love was patient and kind—even with me.

And sometime while I was standing there on the deck, the Princess of Perfect slipped over the rail. And I didn’t even notice.

Fanatical Friends

I heard Raymie and Julia before I saw them. They jumped up and down and cheered as I walked down the ramp.

"Alice, Alice, Alice!" Julia shouted.

"We thought you’d never get back," Raymie said.

"What’s this?" I said, "A fan club?"

"It’s the fan club," Julia laughed.

Raymie caught me in a hug, then looked into my face. "Alice," she said, "how come you’re crying?"

	Q: What did one lightbulb say to the other one? A: “Watt are you doing?” Charles R., 10, Georgia Clubhouse Jr. Click here to subscribe