Average Answers (Part 18)

Average Boy's birthday must be coming up, because Mom is looking for the one big candle again. Be sure to wish him happy birthday on the 11th, and keep sending in your great questions!

Ask Average Boy a question.

Question  Dear Average Boy,

This Saturday, I am going to West Virginia on a missions trip. I was wondering if you ever went on a missions trip before and if so what was it like? Where did you go?


Answer  Hey Rebekah,

Congratulations! Missions trips are awesome: You get to travel and do God’s work! I went to Chicago on a missions trip a few years ago. They call it the "Windy City," and I believe it. I still can't get my hair to lay down correctly.

I’ve also been to rural Mexico. My pastor told me not to drink the water, but I was fine . . . three months later. I’ve never been to Virginia, but Chicago is west of there, so I guess I’ve been to North-West Virginia. Anyway, have a great time!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Click here to read about Average Boy's first missions trip!

Question  Why do you smile so much?


Answer  Hey Krystal,

Have you seen my teeth? Keeping those things covered up requires full-time concentration and muscle control . . . two things that I don’t have a lot of.

Besides, being a Christian is awesome! We have a God who loves us no matter what (even if we have big teeth and no muscles). That’s definitely something to smile about.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  I love to play sports. But I'm not very good at them. Do you have any suggestions on getting better at sports (basketball in particular)?


Answer  Hey Jaime,

Practice. Practice. Practice. And then keep practicing. (Don’t just do it three times.)

I’ve found that if you stick with something, you will get better at it. I used to not be good at math, but I practice every day! So now, if you ask me, “What’s 45 times 8?” I could easily say . . . um . . . carry the 4? OK, so I still need to practice math.

Here are some tips I’ve learned about basketball.
1. Never catch the ball with your face.
2. Basketball is basically upside-down soccer—you dribble with your hands and get a penalty if you kick. Also, you score way more points . . . at least, the tall kids do.
3. Coach won’t let you bring a trampoline to real games.

Keep practicing and soon you won’t just be dribbling, you’ll be double dribbling!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  What is your favorite school subject: math, science, writing or geography?

A Big Fan of Yours

Answer  Hey A Big Fan of Mine,

You have my favorite name of all time.

Writing is my favorite school subject. God filled my brain with lots of thoughts and I like sharing them. Of course, Mom thinks some of my ideas are better than others; we’re still trying to get that armadillo out of the bathroom.

Anyway, I also like science because it shows how creative God was when He made the world! (Not to mention the cool experiments.)

I like math, I’m just not very good at it. Every time I see an x, I start thinking about buried treasure . . . or xylophones.

Geography is that weird math with shapes, right? Just kidding. I recently learned the state capitals: not-Dallas, not-Chicago, not-Miami, not-Los Angeles . . .

Study hard!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  AB, have you always been goofy?


Answer  Hey Polardozer,

I don’t know if I’m that goofy. I mean, I don’t sleep on icebergs like you. (Get it? Polar dozer? Never mind.)

My dad says I’ve always had a gift for turning normal life into an adventure. I try to obey my parents and follow the rules, but even then goofy stuff happens. Maybe it’s just who God made me to be—someone who never has a boring day.

Thanks for reading, even when it's goofy!

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Have you ever played Apples to Apples? It’s a game. You should look it up. I just want to know.


Answer  Hey Lissa,

I haven’t played that game but I just checked and we have three apples in the kitchen. What do I do now?

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Hey SAB (Super Average Boy—I heard you prefer that name),

How old are you? I see you as around 10 or 11, but I don't know for sure. I'm 13, but I still manage to get into not-so-average situations. (Maybe because I'm accident-prone.) I'm always getting tied up in knots (especially when we play Twister).

Anyway, I really like your stories! Keep up the good work.

Sammy (the girl who apparently likes parentheses)

Answer  Hey Sammy (parentheses are cool!),

One time, Billy and I decided to play Texas-sized Twister. We duct-taped 6 boards together and invited my whole family to play. My brother got out in the first round (he couldn’t see the spinner from so far away) but Dad loved the extra room (maybe because I’d been out of deodorant for a week). We’re working on a new version where you nail the board to the ceiling and hang a bunch of ropes for people to climb (we just need enough mattresses to cushion the fall).

Oh, and I’ll answer the age question after my next birthday (so I’ll sound older)!

Your friend and mine,
AB (Average Boy)

Thanks for all the birthday notes! For more Average Answers, click here.

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.