Average Answers (Part 23)

With a new book and a new look, AB's month has been anything but average. At last, he's back to answer your questions.

Ask Average Boy a question.

Question  Why the new look?


Answer  Hey Emma,

You’re talking about my huge muscles, right? Just kidding.

Over Christmas, I grew an inch and a half. (My book grew, too—I added five chapters to the new edition.) I was so excited that I asked Clubhouse to update my picture in the magazine. They waited a few months to make sure my growth spurt was over, then showed everybody my new look. I even got a new shirt! (My mom said that was a good thing.) I didn’t realize how much my ears had grown, too.

I know I look different, but I’m still the same Bob underneath. I’ll keep having adventures as long as you keep reading ‘em. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get that snake out of the bathtub before Mom gets home.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Do you really have your own book? What kind of things do you do in it?

Catie and Izzy

Answer  Hey Catie and Izzy,

A few years ago, I realized I had already read all the good books in my school library. I wanted a new book, full of adventures and good friends and hilarious jokes. So I wrote my own.

At first, I called my book Growing Up Super Average, because I'm (Super) Average Boy and it's stories about me growing up. I thought it was an accurate title . . . unlike Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, which for some reason has no songs in it. But Billy told me that other kids feel average, too, so I added five new chapters and changed the title to Devotions for Super Average Kids.

The book is a lot like my column in Clubhouse magazine. I tell silly stories from my life, then talk about what I learned. I talk about normal life stuff—like sports and chores—and also Christian stuff—like youth group and telling people about Jesus. You should definitely check it out (and not just because I wrote it).

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Dear Average Boy,

You said in the “Swimming Lesson” story that you were banned from your old gym, but you didn't say why. Bob, why were you banned from your old gym? I hope you can tell me and all your other big fans that story sometime. Well, I guess this is bye for now.

P.S. I’m a huge fan, I think you’re so funny!

Answer  Hey Maggie,

I think you have great taste! Thanks for being a fan.

As for my old gym, I wasn’t so much banned as I was asked not to come back . . . ever. I broke their coat rack because I thought it was a chin-up bar. I was also told I was using the treadmill wrong and they didn’t allow dogs in the gym. That’s a shame, too, because my dog was really enjoying the run.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  How old were you when you got saved? I was three. (I’m 14 now.)


Answer  Hey LeighAnne,

I was six. It was at Vacation Bible School. At first I didn’t want to go because it had the word school in it. Plus I didn’t want a vacation from the Bible—I’d just started reading it! But then I found out VBS is really fun. They answered all my questions I had about God and Jesus and how to get Kool-Aid stains out of the carpet.

Now that I’m older, I help out at my church’s VBS. This year we’re doing the story where Jesus calms the storm. I play the storm. My job is to make thunder sound effects and dump water on Billy until Glasses says, “Peace! Be still!” Then I have to be quiet for the rest of the skit. Mom said we should rehearse at home . . . but she always skips ahead to the “Peace! Be still!” part.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  Are you scared of shots? I am terrified of them!

P.S. I have 10 pets.

Answer  Hey Audrey,

Ten pets?!? I didn’t know kids were allowed to live at the zoo!

Yes, I am afraid of shots. But I have a trick I do when getting shots. I try to distract myself by reading something or making my eyes water. Actually, my eyes water on their own. I don’t really have control of that. But distraction is the key to—ouch! See, my shot is over now and I barely even felt it because I was busy writing to you. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go find some tissues (or maybe a beach towel) for my watery eyes.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

Question  AB,

Have you ever tried to buy or sell something on eBay or Craigslist? My sister sold ski boots and my mom sold a computer.

Just wondering,

Answer  Hey Ali,

So that’s where those ski boots came from! If your sister had mentioned they were hot pink, I wouldn’t have bid so high for them!

I once tried to list my brother on eBay (slightly used), but my Dad bought him back before I could upload his information. I sell lots of stuff at our yearly garage sale; too bad Mom won’t let me get rid of the vacuum.

Your friend and mine,
Average Boy

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Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.