Funny Answers Pt. 14

Question  Dear Average Boy,

I know that you are supposed to be average, but the mishaps you get into don't seem average to me. Why does something weird always happen to you when you're supposed to be an average boy?


Heather H.

Answer Hey, Heather!

Good question. Maybe I’m average and everyone else is below average! Hold on, I'll ask. . . .OK. I just asked my dad but he just rolled his eyes. He does that a lot. You’d think his eyes would be huge now from all the exercise they get.

Anyway, I think a lot of stuff happens to me because I’m always doing stuff. I don’t just sit around watching TV. I go outside and do stuff like swim or try to get out of the bag Donnie put me in. I do a lot of stuff, so a lot of stuff happens to me!

Your friend and mine, 

Average Boy

Question  Dear Average Boy,

Are you ever bored with having just one brother? I would be. I have three brothers, three sisters, one brother-in-law and two nephews. My brother-in-law and nephews are sort of like my brothers because they and my sister used to live with us. I like “Adventures of Average Boy.”

Your fan, 


Answer Hey Nana,

Wow! That's not a family, that's a tribe!

Sounds like a lot of fun. I don't get bored with my brother, though. He's so much fun to play with! Besides, it usually takes me about an hour to figure out how to pick the lock on his door and find all the traps he's set for me, so there's no time to be bored!

Also, when I ask my mom and dad if they are planning on having any more children, they just break out laughing really, really loudly! Thanks for reading!

Your friend and mine, 

Average Boy

Question  Hiya, Average Boy! 

I would like to ask if you are going to write more stories with your little brother in them. He sounds kind of like my little brother, and I think my brother is actually learning something from your brother! I was also wondering if you have any sisters that you could write about or at least a cousin. Oh, one more thing. Do you have a pet? If you don’t, I think you should get one of the following (like my family): a frog, a cat, a dog or a rodent of some sort.

Write back if you have a break from your adventures, 

Ariel (aka Average Girl)

Answer Hiya, Ariel,

Your family has all those animals? Do you live at a zoo? That’d be cool. Of course, you’d have to pay $12 every time you wanted to go inside, so maybe that wouldn’t be so cool. Anyway, I have a dog, and I did have a rat until my mom found him. Speaking of, never hide a rat in one of your Mom’s cooking pots. She yelled really loud which wasn’t good because we had a lot of company over at the time.

I’ll write more stories about my brother, and I’ll tell my parents to have a sister so I can write about her. In fact, I’ll tell my dad right now. Hold on.OK, he said they already have one too many kids in the house, which is sad. I feel bad for my brother now. Anyway, thanks for reading. I’ll keep writing!

Your friend and mine, 

Average Boy

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.