Funny Answers Pt. 6

Question Dear Average Boy,

I know your middle name. I will post your middle name on this Web site unless you tell me what was in that smoking box you gave your mother on Mother's Day 2006. Actually, I don't know how to get into your system and post things, so that won't work so never mind. But I still want to know the answer to my question.

I. Knowyer Middlename

AnswerHey I.,

I'll be happy to answer your question. But first let me beef up my Web site security. There, that should keep people out. I wrapped duct tape around my computer. Duct tape can keep out anything. Actually, it doesn't keep my brother out of my room ever since he joined the Boy Scouts and started carrying around that Swiss Army knife. Now for your question. . . .

I got my Mom a homemade volcano kit. It was really cool. But looking back, I should have never mixed the eruption ingredients right before wrapping it. I should have let my mom do that on her own time. Oh well, I always say, “you live and you learn and then you mop up the kitchen floor.” Thanks for reading!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Question Dear Average Boy,

I really like your stories. They are really funny. I especially liked the one about your vacation. Here’s my question: What do you like to do when you’re bored? I have a real problem with boredom.

Your Fan,

Kristin P.

P.S. If you ask me, I don’t think you’re such an average Joe.

AnswerDear Kristin,

When I’m bored, I like to answer people’s e-mails. Watch. Hi. Kristin! Thanks for saying I’m not such an average Joe. I think that’s because I’m an average Bob. Also, if you are bored, you could read the Bible or play outside or learn to cook or write a story or watch TV or paint or exercise or make a list of things to do when you are bored. Any of those usually work. Thanks for the e-mail. I hope my reply wasn’t boring.

Your Friend and Mine,

Average Boy

Question Dear AB,

I think your stories are very funny. Do you have any nicknames? I do. My older sister gave me the nickname “Nikkik.” In Ojibwey, a language the natives here speak, it means “otter.” She gave that to me because in the winter I would slide down a hill of snow without a sled. Have you ever done that?


AnswerHey, Otter!

I have slid down a hill. I used to do it all the time, but then I quit walking so close to my dad when we were near a drop off. As for a nickname, all my friends at school have given me a tons of them. Here are a few examples:

Hey, you!



Bob (which in English — a language the natives speak here — means “Cool Guy.”)

There are many more, but you get the idea how popular I am. Thanks for reading my stories, and I'd like to say something in Ojibwey: Nikkik. (That's the only word I know in Ojibwey.) Have fun sliding down those hills!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.