Funny Answers Pt. 8

Question  Dear Average Boy,

I’m curious: Does your family have a favorite Christmas tradition? 

Thanks for reading, 


Answer Hey, Anita!

I don’t know about a “tradition,” but we always go Christmas Caroling. And, since we live in Texas, we sometimes go swimming in the river by our house.Wait! I just remembered a tradition. Each year I try to sneak in and sew my brother’s stocking shut in hopes that his toys get dumped into mine for convenience!

That’s the only tradition I really have.... That, and I always make sure we remember the true reason for Christmas, Christ’s birth! Thank YOU for reading! 

Your friend and mine, 

Average Boy

Question  Average Boy,

Hi. I love reading your stories. They are hilarious. The kids in my class need help. They like to blurt out stuff and my teacher has tried everything but it never works. Can you help me put my classroom in order?

Yoda Soda/Larry/A pickle that dances, Miamisburg, Ohio

P.S. My real name is Michael. Don’t tell anyone.

Answer Dear Michael,

Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone your real name. Your secret will be just between you and me (and anyone who knows how to read). There are many ways to keep kids quiet in school. Duct tape comes to mind, but that’s only because my dad just used some to persuade me to stop singing while answering e-mail.

Your teacher could just play the quiet game for six hours. Of course, you wouldn’t learn much. But then again, there’s always summer school.My first grade teacher let us “shush” other kids who were talking. It became a game to try and shush other kids and not get shushed. So we were pretty quiet. 

Of course, that was the year I was home schooled, so I’m not sure how it would work with other kids in the classroom. 

Your Friend and Mine, 

Average Boy

Question  Dear Bob (or Average Boy, whichever you prefer):

What is your little brother's name? You've always called him “my brother.”

By the way, you haven't ever had any little incidents with shaving cream, have you?

Cameron, 12, Michigan

AnswerDear Cameron (or 12 or Michigan, whichever you prefer):

I love telling stories about my brother because we are so close. I love him. He’s like a brother to me. Actually, he is a brother, but you know what I mean. The point is, we are very close. 

Anyway, his name is . . . uh . . . hmmm. Hang on.

My mom says his name is “Brian,” which makes sense because that’s what it says on his bedroom door. I thought it said, “Brain” on his door as kind of a funny nickname — like when you call a big guy “Tiny.”

Anyway, I’ve really never had any little incidents with shaving cream. They’ve always been big incidents! Maybe I’ll write about one of them soon. Be sure to renew your subscription!

Your friend and mine,

Average Boy

Copyright © Bob Smiley. Illustration © Gary Locke.